Standing up to trolls and cyberbullying: How to deal with online harassment
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Standing up to trolls and cyberbullying: How to bargain with online harassment
Doxxing, flaming, revenge porn and other forms of online abuse are on the rising. But yous don't have to fall victim to these. Here's how to reclaim your power.
(Art: Chern Ling)
25 Jun 2022 06:30AM (Updated: 09 Jul 2022 06:46AM)
Four months agone, I experienced the worst trolling in the history of my online beingness.
That morning, I woke up to a barrage of essay-length comments from an bearding business relationship to an Instagram post of mine that began nether the guise of "advice" and quickly spiralled into deeply personal – and irrational – attacks conspicuously designed to injure and publicly humiliate me.
I'll admit that I was initially rattled when I first read the brutal vitriol before I decided to steel myself and continue the offensive.
After much analysis, I arrived at the conclusion that the attempted character assassination was motivated by someone apparently salty virtually my life and lifestyle, evidenced by the multiple references they made to my online content comprised of mostly "cars, good food and travel" – and their feeble attempt to link it to my personal values in a disparaging manner.
At present that is actually my piece of work Instagram account and such content is but par for the course in my job as a luxury lifestyle journalist.
For most of my career, I take underplayed this attribute of my life to even my closest friends precisely because I did not want to court envy monsters.
This was until a few brusk years ago when I realised that not doing so is almost career suicide for a freelancer.
In arriving at the decision to reinvent myself as a hybrid journalist/digital creator, I asked myself why I should hide the flashy aspects of my task to the detriment of my career, which I've worked tirelessly to build – just to avoid inducing green-eyed and hate in others.
That said, I'k not naive; I likewise understood that choosing to play the social media game would come with its fair share of risks – online abuse existence one of them.
DON'T FEED THE TROLLS
In strategising my response to my get-go online troll, I consulted close cousin and pop content creator Aarika Lee, who has been far more than successful and active longer in the online space, on how to bargain with something like this.
Should I even dignify the comments with a response? Or would it exist wiser to but ignore and delete them before more than of my audience come across it and run a risk negatively influencing their perception of me and dissentious my reputation?
READ: These are the signs of workplace harassment in the age of remote work
I made the decision to address it head on considering I refuse to be bullied into silence.
For anyone dealing with a similar situation, I would advise you to first seek to establish the intent of the abuser and understand that what they are ultimately trying to do is lob shame bombs your way. Only you can cull to bat each one abroad and not allow information technology stick to you lot.
Recognise it for what it is: A pathetic attempt by a coward to projection their own unhappiness onto you. And information technology says much more almost the individual and their character (or lack thereof) than you lot. "Bullying in general oft stems from a identify of hurt or insecurity," Lee observed.
In crafting my response, I deployed a bit of investigative journalism. Could this be an ex with an axe to grind, perchance? And could at that place be whatever legitimacy to the claims, I asked myself.
My take-down was epic.
Using a generous helping of wit and proper reason, I responded with a line-by-line rebuttal of every groundless statement, leaving no room for counter-arguments.
I likewise made a conscious choice non to delete the comments from my feed. Because if I did so, the ugly troll wins. And then in that location they remain, as a victory flag symbolising the futility of such bullying tactics and equally a reminder of triumph over evil should such ugliness surface again.
I have not heard from that defeated troll since.
READ: Actress Keira Knightley opens up well-nigh the event of sexual harassment
A GROWING SOCIAL MALAISE
Sadly, my encounter was not an isolated one nor was it unique.
Co-ordinate to a 2022 study by US-based Pew Inquiry Middle, 41 per cent of Americans have personally experienced some form of online harassment in at least i of the six key ways that were measured: Offensive name-calling, purposeful embarassment, sustained harassment, sexual harassment, stalking and physical threats.
"Harassment is when 1 political party intentionally demonstrates behaviour that causes or is probable to cause harassment, warning or distress to another party," explained Michael Chua, a therapist at Safe Space, a Singapore-based mental health ecosystem that matches those seeking counselling with qualified therapists, online and offline.
"Online harassment takes many forms such as trolling, doxxing, flaming, revenge porn, harassment and cyber stalking."
SOMETHING SMELLS PHISHY
Now what if being assertive and standing up for yourself is not enough and the harassment persists or is of a different nature with more than grievous repercussions, causing you mental or emotional stress?
For digital creators similar Gursheel Dhillon, the virtually common form of online harassment they encounter is having their DMs flooded with unsolicited messages that are malicious and even obscene in nature.
Opening up their lives to the world on public platforms such as Instagram, she says, makes them more susceptible to being trolled.
"On most days, you become genuine people that are grateful for your advice and tips but at that place are days you lot get unsolicited messages that really brand you lot cringe. It can be equally inappropriate equally sending yous obscene pictures and videos, or numerous messages request for your mobile number or to meet upward for 'coffee'," she shared.
Dhillon was also recently the victim of catfishing, where her Instagram account was practically cloned using her own photos and videos the imposter had lifted from her existent business relationship. The fake account posed as @gursheeldhilon, differing from her real proper noun by the use of ane "l" instead of ii.
"I was catfished four times in a span of one calendar week, and in 30 minutes, virtually 400 of my followers had accepted a follow asking from the fake account," she said.
The impersonator then DM-ed all her friends and asked for their credit card details. One fifty-fifty vicious for it.
"I felt terribly awful when she messaged me telling me she had given her details abroad and the first thing I told her was to abolish her credit card. I could not sleep that night and I kept reporting the issue to Instagram and the account was only removed a few days subsequently," she recalled.
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE Then MEAN?
For mental health therapist-turned-activist Aarti Olivia Dubey aka @curvesbecomeher, digital detoxes are necessary when fatty-shaming trolls accept too much of a toll.
"Every bit a plus-sized person, I experience online harassment on a regular basis – largely from people hiding behind anonymous accounts and some of information technology specifically coordinated past groups," she revealed.
According to Dubey, there are many fat-hate groups out in that location that launch coordinated attacks on a rotating target each mean solar day.
"They have created fake Tinder profiles using images from my weblog. One person even took all of my images from a swimsuit post and used them to make fat people memes and express his blatant disgust for my trunk for a post on his ain weblog," she disclosed.
READ: Reading bad news endlessly? You lot're doomscrolling again – here'due south how to terminate
WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
As Lee observed before, cyberbullying does indeed have more than to do with the bullies' own insecurities.
"Often, these bullies are people who have been abused or are suffering corruption themselves. Feeling helpless, they project their inner misery onto others in the form of written abuse," said Dr Jasmine Yeo, Safe Infinite's clinical supervisor. "They may suffer from an identity issue; an insecurity about their ain identity or accept poor self-image."
"Information technology'due south a way of coping and signals a lack of cocky-esteem," added her colleague Chua. "In order to mask how they really feel well-nigh themselves, they focus attention on someone else to escape their ain bug, to feel and get a sense of ability and control over a situation or person."
STOP, Cake, CONFIDE, Record AND Report
When asked for communication to help others deal with online harassment, all the personalities and professionals interviewed for this story prescribed a similar formula: Terminate, Block, Confide, Record and Report – depending on the nature and severity of the harassment.
"Finish engaging equally most perpetrators are seeking a reaction to see testify they are causing harm. Do not respond to them and at that place is a risk the perpetrator will move on to another target," said Chua.
Dhillon recommends blocking the pesky accounts: "One less follower, one less view volition not brand or interruption your success. Your mental peace and sanity are mode more important."
You can also use the "report" part on social media platforms similar Instagram to report a troublemaking account.
"It is and so important to safeguard your emotional and mental health and so pick your battles. If it impacts you lot to the indicate of anxiety or low, please speak with a therapist if y'all lack social support. I reach out to a loved one who has the capacity to hear me vent," shared Dubey.
Blocking, however, tin sometimes escalate abuse, especially if the perpetrator is an ex-hubby with a history of violence, for instance, and your physical safety is under threat.
In such cases, you may consider the option of making a police report.
"Should you need to take police action or make a report to the social media site, it would be helpful to continue a tape of the harassment past taking screenshots," Dubey noted.
So document the abuse earlier reporting it in the event that you lot succeed in your request for it to become taken downward and you lose precious show.
Besides taking screen grabs, salvage any emails, voicemails and texts so if the demand arises, you have the necessary evidence to make a stronger case against the perpetrator.
READ: How Singapore healthcare experts are using TikTok to reach out to more patients
SEEK PROTECTION
From a legal standpoint, you can too seek protection under the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA) in Singapore, which was enacted in 2014.
"People who are facing online harassment can consider seeking out a protection or simulated statement order, specially on an expedited basis, if they think that the harassment or its furnishings are likely to go along (not a i-off incident). It may exist possible to get an order on an expedited basis on the same or next twenty-four hour period," advised lawyer Carol Yuen, an acquaintance with Peter Low & Choo LLC.
A protection order prohibits the perpetrator from communicating with the victim and the perpetrator may also exist ordered to stop publishing any threatening, abusive or insulting communication or identity information of the target person.
This extends to the issue of doxxing, which refers to the act of publicly revealing and publishing private data about an individual with the intent to cause harm.
As function of POHA, the perpetrator can likewise exist made to go for counselling.
The 2nd club is a simulated argument order in which the court bug a end publication or correction order.
"To protect themselves from future harassment, they should ensure the order prohibits the specific action that was the harassment; that the perpetrator cannot send messages to them or publish their name online, for instance," Yuen added.
Repossess YOUR POWER
As our experts accept illustrated, abuse is, ultimately, about power and control.
So refuse to permit anyone steal your power. Think, yous do non exist to exist anyone'due south punching bag. Y'all don't have to merely accept it and suffer in silence. Merely be smart and strategic in how you cull to fight dorsum and know that there are multiple avenues for recourse. Do bolster your cybersecurity, too.
What I find especially useful is picturing the bully for what he or she is: A cowardly insecure miserable person with depression self-esteem who can but feel good about themselves by putting others downwards – online and otherwise. And I immediately experience ameliorate nigh myself.
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Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/women/online-harassment-singapore-social-media-cyber-abuse-trolls-249351
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